Withhis white beard, his round face and rounder stomach, the elderly manstanding near the main entrance to the mall certainly looked the part. Hehad to be in his seventies or even his early eighties, and had obviouslystepped outside to smoke his pipe, its ornately carved bowl and yellowstem identifying it as a Meerschaum."Are you Santa?" Lily asked the man as we drew level with him."No little lady, I'm not," he chuckled. "But he's a good friend of mineand he's inside in his grotto, giving presents to boys and girls who'vebeen good." Can we go see Santa Claus, Mommy, can we?" pleaded Lily, as we passedthrough the door and into the welcome warmth beyond.I sighed. This trip to the mall was one of the last chances I'd get to doa significant amount of shopping before the holiday and I didn't reallyhave time to wait in line to see a shopping mall Santa. I was about totell Lily "no" when I paused. remembering what it had been like to beeight years old and still that excited about Christmas.. " I think that your face is cute." Well all your parts correspond to the ones in the picture. But you have a most adorable little pussy, and she -- frankly -- does not." You download those pictures." I didn't say that hers doesn't turn me on, merely that it isn't cute like yours. After all, how often do I get to see yours. A few seconds at a time at that. Look, do you really want to see?" To see?" Yourself?" I dunno. I ... really don't know." Well, while you decide, let me retune the computer. Right now it is set on false colors. It would probably turn flesh tone into an awful green."Hey, I'm not going to get on your 'puter and be sent around the world by mistake." I can't send it anywhere. The modem's not connected. We could try a mirror, but this is better. Trust me." Right! Anyway, I haven't said that I'd do it yet." Didn't say that you had. I'm just getting ready for if you do." What the hell. At least I'll know what the fuss is about. What do I do, strip and spread them?" No! If.
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